Generally, I wouldn't say I like meeting new people. It's not that I'm antisocial or anything. I just value my energy more than others. Most people aren't worth the energy to meet.
They're not interesting people. I find the gap between interesting people and the least common denominator is vast. That gap is almost always represented by the difference between consumers versus problem solvers. Problem solvers go deep.
They know a lot about a problem and have multiple hypotheses about it. They seek others' opinions on it, and they're clearly more focused on the problem than any one solution. On the flip side, the least common denominator is a consumer who loves others' creations.
They like discussing what they like about those creations. Their opinions are others' opinions, and they don't see any alternative. Even if a topic is new, I can learn a lot from problem solvers.
I can ask deep questions and feel like I get a shortcut through the trial and error of deep work by meeting them. By contrast, consumers know headline-level detail, and I don't find out anything more than I can with a quick Google search.
Their knowledge is shallow and untested. The best way to avoid wasting time on consumers is using this chronologically ordered set of filters.
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Be interesting
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Other people
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Exclusive groups with a paywall
Be interesting
I was interviewed for a book about immigrants to Japan who made careers here. I actively tried avoiding this because I don't like unwanted attention and don't think I've "made it" as the book alludes to.
But finally, I relented to help the person with their own pursuit. They asked how I networked. They wondered what meetups were best.
They asked about my approach. What I next said surprised them and made them defensive. "Only losers go to networking events." They were taken back because their recruiting profession depended on meeting new people.
They immediately suggested otherwise and tried to build a case against my thesis. Unconvinced by their reasoning, I doubled down. "The only people you'll meet at events are people who want something from you or aren't meaningfully engaged in a pursuit of their own.
Bored people are losers." You see, $20, $40, or even $100 isn't a strong enough filter for meeting interesting people because interesting people value their energy far more than that. The easiest way to meet interesting people is by having accomplished something yourself.
Do something that makes you someone worth meeting; interesting people will reach out. However, doing something interesting one time isn't enough. You have to continue being interesting, or your time on the shelf of interesting people will have expired. Nobody likes a has been.
And being a has-been means the rate at which you're contacted by other interesting people goes to zero. Imagine meeting the founder of America Online, Steve Case, today vs 30 years ago had that been all they accomplished.
Instead, Case stayed interesting with his investing, books, and other work. The grind never stops, no matter how big you strike it.
Other people
I've met many accomplished people and generally, when I meet them, they're also meeting equally accomplished people. It's self selecting. Interesting people want to learn from others with something to offer. They want to meet other interesting people.
They want to hear their perspectives to see how they can better themselves or make further progress in their pursuit to solve problems. I have a few friends who index high on the distribution of interesting people connections.
Generally, the invite I get from them is "Interesting Person is in Tokyo, and I told them about your story. They want to hang out.
Do you know their {company|book|blog}?" Tying into the first point about being interesting with accomplishments, every interesting person you meet is an additional series of intros to more interesting people. Every new person you meet may be the key to helping you in your pursuit or you helping them in theirs.
Exclusive groups with a paywall
The final step to meeting interesting people is being invited to clubs, groups, investing rounds, and associations. To join these groups, you need to complete the first two steps. Be interesting.
Then get invited by other interesting people. This is the most powerful step because suddenly, you're even more interesting by being associated with these people.
People may not even know what you've done, but by being in the group, you immediately pass filters. The downside is you'll meet more sociopaths than average that abuse these social accreditations.
The additional volume of people you meet can add some extra work on your side, too. I belong to only a few of these groups and think they're optional to meet truly interesting people. So to wrap up, here's what I always tell myself: Be someone who's good at fixing problems. Don't worry about small, unimportant things - look for deeper and bigger things.
That's how to keep life interesting. Why? Everybody likes a good story, and stories start with problems. If I continue to work hard to make my own story good, I I'll continue to meet others who are doing the same thing.
随笔:要有趣
一般来说,我不会说我喜欢结识新朋友。这并不是说我反社会或什么的。我只是比其他人更看重我的能量。大多数人不值得花精力去见。 他们不是有趣的人。
我发现有趣的人和最小公分母之间的差距很大。这种差距几乎总是表现为消费者与问题解决者之间的差异。
问题解决者深入。
他们对一个问题了解很多,并且对此有多种假设。他们征求其他人的意见,他们显然更关注问题而不是任何一种解决方案。
另一方面,最不常见的共同点是喜欢他人创作的消费者。 他们喜欢讨论他们喜欢这些作品的哪些方面。他们的意见就是别人的意见,他们看不到任何替代方案。
即使是新话题,我也可以从解决问题的人那里学到很多东西。
我可以提出深刻的问题,并觉得通过与他们会面,我在深度工作的反复试验中找到了一条捷径。
相比之下,消费者知道标题级别的详细信息,而我通过快速谷歌搜索无法找到更多信息。 他们的知识浅薄且未经检验。
避免在消费者身上浪费时间的最好方法是使用这组按时间顺序排列的过滤器。
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要有趣
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其他人
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带有付费专区的独家群组
要有趣
我接受了一本关于在日本取得职业生涯的移民的书的采访。
我积极尝试避免这种情况,因为我不喜欢不必要的关注,也不认为我已经像书中提到的那样“做到了”。 但最后,我心软了,帮助那个有自己追求的人。
他们问我如何联网。他们想知道什么聚会最好。 他们询问我的方法。
我接下来说的话让他们大吃一惊,使他们产生了戒心。 “只有失败者才会参加社交活动。” 他们被召回是因为他们的招聘职业取决于结识新朋友。
他们立即提出了不同的建议,并试图针对我的论文建立一个案例。 不相信他们的推理,我加倍努力。
“你在活动中唯一会遇到的人是那些想要从你那里得到什么或者没有有意义地从事他们自己的追求的人。
无聊的人是失败者。” 你看,20 美元、40 美元,甚至 100 美元都不足以结识有趣的人,因为有趣的人更看重他们的能量。
结识有趣的人的最简单方法是自己完成一些事情。 做一些让你成为值得遇见的人;有趣的人会伸出援手。
然而,只做一次有趣的事情是不够的。你必须继续变得有趣,否则你在有趣的人的架子上的时间就会过期。没有人喜欢过去。
成为一个过时的人意味着其他有趣的人与您联系的比率变为零。 想象一下今天与美国在线的创始人史蒂夫·凯斯会面,而 30 年前他们所取得的一切成就。
相反,凯斯对他的投资、书籍和其他工作保持兴趣。 研磨永远不会停止,无论你敲打它有多大。
其他人
我遇到过很多有成就的人,一般来说,当我遇到他们时,他们也会遇到同样有成就的人。是自己选的有趣的人希望向他人学习并提供一些东西。他们想认识其他有趣的人。
他们想听听他们的观点,看看他们如何才能改善自己或在解决问题的过程中取得进一步进展。
我有几个朋友对有趣的人脉关系的分布评价很高。
一般来说,我从他们那里收到的邀请是“有趣的人在东京,我告诉他们你的故事。
他们想出去玩。 你知道他们的{公司|书籍|博客}吗?” 结合关于成就有趣的第一点,你遇到的每个有趣的人都是对更有趣的人的一系列额外介绍。
你遇到的每个新人都可能是帮助你追求的关键,或者你帮助他们追求的关键。
带有付费专区的独家群组
结识有趣的人的最后一步是受邀加入俱乐部、团体、投资回合和协会。要加入这些群组,您需要完成前两个步骤。
要有趣。
然后被其他有趣的人邀请。
这是最有力的一步,因为突然之间,与这些人交往会让你变得更加有趣。 人们甚至可能不知道你做了什么,但通过加入小组,你会立即通过筛选。
缺点是你会遇到比平均水平更多的反社会人士,他们滥用这些社会认证。 您遇到的更多人也可以为您增加一些额外的工作。
我只属于这些群体中的一小部分,并且认为他们是可选的,可以结识真正有趣的人。
所以总结一下,我总是告诉自己:做一个善于解决问题的人。不要担心小的、不重要的事情——寻找更深层次和更大的事情。 这就是让生活变得有趣的方法。
为什么?
每个人都喜欢好故事,而故事都是从问题开始的。如果我继续努力让自己的故事精彩,我就会继续遇到其他做同样事情的人。
Aristotle said "The gap between the educated and uneducated is that of the living and the dead" I think you could swap out educated for problem solver.
亚里士多德说「受过教育的人和没受过教育的人之间的差距就是生者和死者之间的差距。」我认为您可以将受过教育的人换成问题解决者。
//之前我一直以创造和消费分类。把创造进一步具体为,解决问题的人。做一个解决问题的有趣之人。